Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth.

Rom 14:4

Christians are a judgmental lot. It probably springs from the fact that the Lord is so important to us. We want desperately to please and honor Him, and we’re all doing our very best. Trouble is, Jane Christian’s best may not look like Nancy Christian’s best, and then what? Well, sometimes there can be very cordial, loving interactions between people as they seek to understand each other, and maybe one or both will even end up changing somehow. But more likely Jane and Nancy are both quite firm in their convictions (thank you very much!) They’re doing things differently, and they’re going to keep doing things differently. And that’s when the trouble can start.

I cover my head in real life so let’s use that for our Jane and Nancy story, too. Let’s say Jane doesn’t cover her head. She has no conviction whatsoever about that. And let’s say Nancy has a very strong conviction that she just cannot get away from that she should cover her head. OK, here’s the question: Who is going to be judgmental?

I think that most people would off the cuff say, “Nancy,” because we have this idea that people who have convictions that we don’t have must necessarily be legalistic and are therefore judgmental Pharisees who think we’re going to Hell…or something like that. But do you notice how judgmental that sounds?

I’ve been a Christian since I was four and a half years old, and while I am still quite young, I have had a bit of a journey already as I’ve gone from my childhood days in a large, less conservative evangelical church (read: women with pants and short hair giving missions reports before the drummer gets going again on the next worship set) to my early adulthood in a small, extremely conservative home church (read: women with modest dresses and long hair under head coverings sitting quietly while one of the men calls out the next hymn). So I’ve gotten to experience judgment from both sides. And you know what? It’s systemic. Jane is just as likely to be judging Nancy as Nancy is to be judging Jane.

We all have what I like to call a “subset of convictions.” This is the list of things that we feel the Lord truly wants us to do or not do to be pleasing to Him. For example, most of us probably believe that Christians shouldn’t kill people for their athletic shoes. Some of you might have the rule that Christians shouldn’t have rules, and that anyone who does have rules doesn’t understand grace, and is therefore not as good of a Christian as you, but I’m willing to bet that you still have the “No killing people for their shoes” rule. Other people have convictions about not lying, dressing modestly, letting God size their families, wearing headcoverings, going to church every time the doors are open, not drinking alcohol, etc. We’re all pretty familiar with this. (And please note that I’m not saying that it’s abstaining from killing people for their shoes that saves us! We are saved ONLY by the Lord Jesus Christ’s sacrificial death on our behalf. But the Bible does say that we are “created in Christ Jesus unto good works which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). And I’m pretty sure that most Christians would agree that allowing someone to live, even if we do like his shoes, is a good work that God wants us to walk in.)

Now, the judgmentalism falls into two categories. Either the person we are encountering has fewer things in his subset of convictions than we do or more things, and based on that, we tend to think either:

1. “This person cannot possibly be sold out for Christ and have a vibrant, thriving relationship with Him because he is so disobedient.” OR

2. “This person cannot possibly be sold out for Christ and have a vibrant, thriving relationship with Him because he is so legalistic.”

Hmm. They sound so similar side by side, don’t they?

Not only this, but most of us also have chips on our shoulders and tend to judge each other for the judgment that we assume is being passed. “Hey, there’s Nancy Christian over there with her head covered. I bet she’s thinking I’m not really honoring the Lord because I’m not wearing a headcovering.” OR “Hey, there’s Jane Christian over there with her head uncovered. I bet she’s thinking I don’t have anything deep and meaningful to say about the Christian walk because I am so ‘legalistically’ wearing a headcovering.” Are you guilty? I am.

The somewhat obvious, easier said than done answer is for us all to just quit it, to stop being so mean to each other, stop feeling insecure about how other people view us and our convictions. It’s hard, though, because we all actually believe the things we believe. And for most of us, it’s not just an “I’m OK, you’re OK” sort of belief. Even if we have a good dose of humility and acknowledge that we could be wrong about a few things, the fact is, we don’t really think we are wrong because if we thought we were wrong on something, it wouldn’t be a conviction anymore. And if, for the sake of argument, there were a person who was convicted about exactly the right subset of convictions, then it would actually be true that those who were convicted about fewer were disobedient, and those who were convicted about more were adding to what the Lord wants us to do. We can’t stop feeling convicted about our convictions, but maybe we should stop judging other people’s motives. As Roman’s 14 points out, it is possible to do opposite things for the same reason.

One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks (Romans 14:5-6).

It’s hard to be different. It feels safe, and cozy, and affirming when everyone around us is exactly like us. We all want to please the Lord, and it’s so easy to think we’re doing a good job when other people believe the same things we do. But for some reason, God didn’t work things out that way. Aside from not killing each other for our shoes, as perplexing as it is, we don’t all have the same set of convictions. We don’t get to be each other’s standard. You are not OK if Nancy approves of you, or Jane, or John, or Bob, or anyone else. To your own master you stand or fall. And so does everyone else. Maybe this is God’s way of helping us learn to stop being so self-focused and concerned with how we’re doing relative to the people around us and start really loving them even if they seem not to be able to read, er, I mean, have a different interpretation of Scripture than we do. Somehow, we have to quit judging each other. I think the real answer is to focus on the Lord and how we can serve Him, never mind the people around us. I’m praying about this one in my life. And when I get a little discouraged about it, I’m reminding myself that at least I’m starting to become aware of my sin, and like they used to say on the old G.I. Joe cartoon, “Knowing is half the battle!”

…I hope no one’s judging me for watching T.V. as a child…

This entry was posted on Monday, June 23rd, 2008 at 11:20 pm and is filed under Christian Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.