I’ve been wrestling with a lot of discouragement lately, mostly the kind that comes at the end of a pregnancy when that nearly 50 pound belly I’m dragging around finally starts to sap enough of my energy that I can’t seem to do even the simplest things like laundry, and cooking, and staying on top of discipline and homeschooling. “I just made dinner last night,” I whined to my mother, “And now I have to make it again!”
Then one morning, as I lay in bed with my eyes burning, feeling sorry for myself that I had to get up, I realized something. The main reason I get discouraged is that I expect life to be easy, and I’m disappointed when it isn’t.
But God never promised me an easy life. Actually, life is pretty much guaranteed to be hard.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. –John 16:33
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. –Isaiah 43:2
Notice it says, “When.” Hardship is inevitable.
Of course, the “hardship” at the end of a normal, healthy pregnancy is nothing compared to what a lot of people go through. In fact, it’s nothing compared to things I’ve gone through myself, broken bones and nearly dying of pneumonia, family stresses and assorted heartbreak. But somehow, even the smallest amount of interference with my plans for an easy, happy life tempts me to discouragement. I feel like I signed up for a spa retreat and instead found myself in combat, viciously assailed on every side, fighting a losing battle for my own joy and the joy of my family. But how silly of me to suppose that life on this fallen, broken, sin ravaged earth should ever be anything but war! I need to expect the trouble that God plainly tells me will come and greet it valiantly. I need to be a cheery pessimist.
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. –1 Peter 4:12,13
The only thing I can be optimistic about is that the Hero of the story (God) will show himself a mighty warrior in my raging battles. Any hardship is really just an opportunity to see His glory. My heavenly spa retreat is coming. Until then, it’s mortal combat every day for the souls of my family and those the Lord brings across my path. It’s mortal combat to glorify Him in my weak flesh, to be cheerful when I’m tired and faithful when I’d rather whine, patient and steadfast when I feel like giving up.
Get back, discouragement over having to do laundry at eight months gestation! Take that, self-pity, and that, grumpy attitude! I wasn’t put on this earth for a pedicure. This is a war zone, and I’m going to fight to the death.
April 8th, 2009 at 12:40 am
“I need to be a cheery pessimist” I love it!
April 8th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Thank you!! I am 3 weeks postpartum and discouragement and exhaustion were creeping up on me, this very morning. This post blessed me.
April 8th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Praise the Lord! Very encouraging!
It IS a war we are in. Sometimes we can barely fight it – so we just stand fast and give what we can. It is so good to know that God takes what we give to him and makes it so much more.
Mark 12:42-44 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.
Mark 6:41-44 And when he had taken the five loaves and the two fishes, he looked up to heaven, and blessed, and brake the loaves, and gave them to his disciples to set before them; and the two fishes divided he among them all. And they did all eat, and were filled. And they took up twelve baskets full of the fragments, and of the fishes. And they that did eat of the loaves were about five thousand men.
I will be praying for you. I didn’t remember you were pregnant. Congratulations on your great expectation.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Santos
April 8th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Oh HOW I can relate. I’m still about 2 1/2 months out from having our sixth and the discouragement creeps in daily. I have to FIGHT hard to push it back.
I suffer from a condition called SPD where there are days when walking is almost unbearable, sitting is uncomforable and my lower back feels like it is on fire.
Then, I am reminded that there is a sweet blessing on the inside and that every moment I suffer is for the Father’s incredible glory.
You are so right, He never promised easy on this side of eternity. What He did promise is to be there with us holding us each step of the way.
I’m actually going to be writing a bit about this tomorrow in response to a comment I received on one of my posts. Stop by and let me know your thoughts.
April 9th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Good to see you holding it together, with alot of help from your Father, of course. I remember crying uncontrollably when I could no longer fit behind the steering wheel of my car!
This, too, shall pass…
April 9th, 2009 at 5:46 am
Dear Mre P, praying for you and hoping all goes well for you. Isn’t the internet great in that we can be truly honest with our christian sisters without too much fear of judgement and ridicule.I’m on your side- hang in there.From Linda.
April 9th, 2009 at 11:09 am
You are so right…I too look forward to our Heavenly spa with our Lord and Savior!
I hope that you are able to enjoy these last few weeks of sweet baby growing within you despite the pain and tiredness it causes! I so look forward to the announcement of his/her arrival!
Love,
Meghann
April 9th, 2009 at 11:49 am
I am so happy to have found your blog and am enjoying reading through your posts. You’ve made some great points here :~)
I have a question for you and I don’t see an email link, so I’ll just ask here if that’s OK. A sweet neighbor is using Secret Keeper Girl with her dd. I’ve looked through it and while I like some aspects, others not so much :~) Any recommendations? Or should I simply come up with my own?
April 9th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Excellent post! It is so easy to skim those verses and think “if” troubles come, not “when.” And being seven months pregnant myself, I can definitely identify with the fatigue and discouragement over daily tasks. Thanks for this encouragement to keep fighting the enemy!
April 9th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Holly,
Thanks for your comment! You are always welcome to ask anything you like in the comments section, whether or not it relates to the post.
One resource you may want to consider is Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald. It is not solely a book on modesty (and I have not read Secret Keeper Girl, but I believe that it is only about modesty), but this book does do a lovely job of addressing the topic in the context of feminine loveliness in general. It is a delightful study for mothers and daughters to do together, and I am looking forward to the time when my own girls are old enough to go through it with me.
But really, I don’t think you absolutely NEED a resource to teach modesty. I find that just talking about it as a part of our day to day lives gets the point across pretty well. Even my three year old will frequently comment on how this or that thing we see out in the world is “unmodest.” (The concept is there, we’ll have to keep working on the grammar!)
Hope this helps!
April 10th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Hey kiddo!! I leave for three days, and you are an utter basketcase.. just kidding. I think I was depressed almost all the time for the first 7 years of my marriage–primarily because I was so exhausted from the physical demands of mothering. If making dinner is too much for you, just go for some easy foods for a while. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We are not human-doings.. we are human beings. Pregnancy is hard on the body–very hard.
The verses you picked out are perfect. I don’t know the ref. for this one:
a smoking flax he will not quench..
weeping may endure for a night (a season) but joy cometh in the morning
the JOY of the Lord is my strength..
Psalm 4: for he giveth his beloved sleep..
Praying for you, Jena
April 10th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Thank you for your reply! I have seen that book in my HS catalogs, and a stronger focus on “feminine loveliness” IS more of what I’m looking for. Sounds great!
April 10th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Hi my dear lady:-)
It was so lovely to see you recently, i wish we could enjoy each others company more regularly.
my little boy has enjoyed the gift from your children on a quite frequent basis, please relay my thanks!!!
I have been feeling so many of the same feelings during my pregnancy this time around, feeling much more apt to cry for no particular reason. I have to remember that this is normal:-) and try to laugh at my rolling emotions when they get the better of me. It does pose a challenge though for keeping a cheery heart in the midst of everything.
Cooking…. I love cooking, when I want to cook:-) when I don’t feel like it I don’t enjoy it as much, mostly because I don’t enjoy the clean up aspect. When Noah was born I made a couple dozen freezer meals a head of time, which proved to be such a blessing. I also tried to cook ahead a couple other times, and will be starting that again here in the next couple weeks with a neighbor friend of mine. I strongly suggest it. There are hundreds of sites online with good freezer recipes, and it makes the evenings so much less hectic!
April 14th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I’m glad that God is helping you through these trying times. I wish I were closer to help! Hang in there, and keep “fighting the good fight.” I’m praying for you.