I am heading into the home stretch on this pregnancy. I only have about three and a half more weeks until my due date. The birth supplies are all laid out and covered with a sheet. The baby clothes (some in pink, some in blue since we like to be surprised about the sex of our new little blessings) are washed, and folded, and waiting in their drawer. We even bought the garlic yesterday for my postpartum herbal baths. The only thing that isn’t ready is the diapers.
I started out a staunch cloth diaper girl. It’s better for the environment, gentler on the pocketbook, safer on baby’s skin to avoid all those chemicals. Besides, I would rather wear cotton than paper and plastic all the time.
… And then I discovered the struggles, the fact that even with double diapering, we had a leak nearly every night, and then there was the leak nearly every morning after that first great big nursing, not to mention the fact that I never found a good way of getting the wet and messy diapers home in the diaper bag without making everything in the diaper bag smell like a diaper pail. And while we’re on the subject of diaper pails, I never figured out what to do with the diapers that were waiting to be washed without having them stink up the entire room. And speaking of washing, laundry is my downfall. I’m always behind, and using cloth diapers involves washing them, which means adding two or three loads a week to my already overloaded laundry schedule.
Which all explains why, despite my impassioned beginnings, cloth diapering fell by the wayside somewhere after the arrival of baby number two.
Enter EC. For those of you who have never heard of this, it stands for “Elimination Communication,” and it basically means letting your child go potty on the toilet, or in some other receptacle right from birth instead of forcing them to spend the first year or two of their lives sitting in their own urine and feces. I know. I know. At first, it sounds kind of nice, nice and bizarre, nice and impractical, nice and impossible. I heard about it for years myself before I even considered trying it because it depends on knowing when your baby needs to go. And I had no idea when my children needed to go. None. I was used to waiting until they could talk, and then trying to get them to say, “I need to go potty.” But then, you know, potty training a child who has spent his whole life being trained to make messes in his pants can be a harrowing experience. It takes FOREVER to convince him that all of a sudden he should not make messes in his pants, that it is no longer a brilliant plan just to go wherever he happens to be when he feels the urge.
Well, a couple of friends of mine (one from church and one from the blogosphere) tried EC with their babies. My friend from church even let me watch her little one month old in action. She held him in position, and he went, number one and number two. I picked my chin up off the floor, and gave it all some serious thought. I started applying some of the principles to my little one and a half year old, and lo and behold, so often when I thought she had been fussing for “no reason,” it was actually because she had to go, and she didn’t really want to go in her diaper. She used to wake up over and over at night and have an awful time going back to sleep. When I started taking her to the bathroom when she first woke up, she went right back to sleep immediately in perfect comfort. I realized she had been trying to sleep with a full bladder, which is very unsettling, and it kept waking her up.
As a general rule, I am leery of gimmicky parenting, but this one somehow makes sense to me. If I were weak and helpless, I would sure rather someone helped me to the bathroom instead of just sticking a diaper on me and changing it whenever it fit their schedule. And babies are no less human than adults. Could it be that our whole concept of their not having any preferences in this area is a little misguided?
SO, to make a long story short, I’m actually considering trying EC with our new little one, and EC is MUCH easier if you use cloth diapers. Babies dislike being wet, and disposables instantly turn the moisture into a gel which ruins the feedback babies would ordinarily get from wetting themselves. I have found that my toddler has one accident after another when she wears disposable training pants, but panics immediately (often enough to stop until she makes it to the bathroom) if she starts to have an accident in cloth.
The other day, I dug my newborn size diaper covers out of the old baby clothes bin and put them on the floor of the backlogged laundry room to await the next light colors load. I still have to find the rest of my stash of little, unbleached, organic prefolds and find another bucket that’s been emptied of the forty pounds of wheat berries it came to us with to use as a diaper pail. Then I should be all set for the next stage of my diapering adventures. Does anyone have any advice for me?
April 16th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I’ve enjoyed your blog for some time, though I don’t think I’ve ever commented.
I don’t have any experience on the EC thing, but I’ve been using cloth on my third baby since she was born (19 months ago or so), and have some ideas on that.
Since my little one has gotten older, I’ve begun using microfiber cloths instead of cotton diapers – only if they’re within a ‘pocket’ style diaper (you don’t want microfiber against baby’s skin). These hold a lot of moisture for their weight. You can order cute little oval-cut, 3-layer inserts, or go to Costco and buy a batch of microfiber towels in the automotive section (36 towels for about $16) and fold (or sew..?) them to fit inside the diaper. At this age, I use two of these inside a diaper for overnight. When running low (I only have a few microfibers), I’ll use one cotton diaper and one MF towel, and that seems to work as well. Another thing I’ve done for my older bedwetter is to make ‘wet pads’ with something absorbent (layers of flannel, a towel, whatever) on top, and PUL (the waterproof stuff of cloth diaper covers) as a backing. I had considered making small ones for the baby’s crib, but never got around to it (might for the one due in Aug). This cuts down on sheet-changes, and she can replace the wet pad at night if there’s an accident.
For the diaper-bag problem, I’ve made small drawstring bags out of the same PUL (email me or comment on my blog if you want my ideas on the cheapest place to find such.. this assumes you or someone can sew, however!), and cinched up they do a great job of keeping smells down. Ditto for a gallon size freezer ziploc!
I made a larger PUL-lined drawstring bag for the diaper pail, though I don’t always use it. It does the job, though, for keeping odor contained.
I believe you can find bags like this sold retail online, but I”m not sure of their price.
As to the laundry problem, I’m not sure I have any grand ideas there.
Our laundry room is fairly central in the downstairs, and while baby was little, I had a ‘changing station’ on the dryer. This helped. It was easy to put a load of diapers in overnight, and sometimes I even came back downstairs after a night feeding to switch them to the dryer.
Sorry to write such a book! I hope something helps, and I’m happy to point you to resources if you like!
April 16th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
We’ve used cloth with both boys and I’ve been pretty happy with it. We used fuzzi bunz exclusively. They are easy to use, easy to wash and don’t leak too much more than a disposable. You might try buying a few pocket diapers to use for nighttime and first of the morning. Or, use disposables those times and your cloth the rest of the day – since you’ve already purchased the cloth, you’re still saving money anytime you use those instead of disposable.
To transport them in the diaper bag I purchased a “wet bag” like this one: http://www.thestorkwearhouse.com/bagstotesdeod.htm#wahmies-regular (mine closes with a zipper). It contains the mess and the smell pretty well and just goes in the wash with the diapers.
We use a trash can with a tight-fitting lid for a diaper pail. I have a washable diaper pail liner, made from the same material as the wet bag, that goes inside the trash can. The pail liner has a small square of hemp sewn into one of the seams and each time I put the clean liner into the pail I put a few drops of tea tree oil onto the hemp square. It still stinks a little bit, especially close to wash time, but that seems to help.
I wash diapers every other night in the evening. I try to start them just before or immediately after we get into the bedtime routine with the boys and have them drying by the time I go to bed. Once every other week or so, I forget to wash them or forget to put them in the dryer or just don’t have the time/energy. In those situations, I put a disposable diaper on the baby and get them going in the morning. I try always to keep a pack of disposables in the correct size on hand, both for use in situations like that and for long mornings of errands/hiking/etc. when I want something super absorbent on baby.
I also used disposables in the beginning weeks with each child. You don’t need to add the extra mental energy and the extra laundry when you are dealing with a brand new baby. Our first was about 3 months when we made the switch to cloth, and I waited until the second was a few weeks old as well.
One more thing I did to make cloth diapering bearable was the purchase of a diaper sprayer, which attaches to the toilet tank and looks just like a kitchen sink sprayer. It is so handy when you have a really yucky diaper that needs to be rinsed off before it can go into the diaper pail.
I hope that some of that is helpful. I am so thankful for all of the great birth/nursing/new baby advice you shared when we were expecting our first.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I’m am just going to say this, just in case you wanted someone to say it. Don’t be insane! I think EC or ET is for people who have so much time on their hands that they are sitting there waiting for something to do, like watch for signs of infants peeing. Disposables, girl. Really disposables. Especially if it’s bedtime or out of the house time. You can get all green if you want during the daytime at home. Cloth diapers are so gross. There I said it. I’ve made enemies on top of enemies. Sorry girls. Sorry green friends. Save a tree some other way this year. Do you have any idea how insane life is with four children as close together as yours are? Not that I can remember that time in my life, because I tried to block out all of my insanity of 12 years ago, but there is some faint memories and calls in the dark from that time frame and the only messages I am getting are “disposable diapers and chicken nuggets” … maybe it was disposable nuggets and chicken diapers.. ?? Some friend I am. Corruption left and right.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Jena,
You’re a scream! I love you. I promise not to take this new idea too seriously, especially since we already had chicken nuggets for lunch today… However, both my friends who got me on to this are doing it with their fourth babies, and they’re both homeschooling, so it seems like there must be SOME way to make it all work.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
If you figure out a way to make EC work, PLEASE let me know. I’ve always been afraid to try EC. Like Jena said, HOW on earth would I have time to do this while homeschooling 3 children and caring for 2 toddlers. I barely have time to take MYSELF to the toilet!
April 17th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Prayer? lol.
April 17th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Well, I’d say it’s worth a try. Although I agree with Jena when it comes to the practices of my life – and I only have one baby! I hope you share the details of the experiment with us.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Hi there,
I don’t know the first thing about EC – but would love to hear how it goes for you if you try it.
I can tell you I have used cloth diapers for the last three babies and love it.
I use a diaper service but only for washing. They are my diapers, she just washes them. She charges me $40 a month and this is about the same if not a little less than I would pay for disposables each month anyway.
I have virtually no problems with leaks – I think the trick is is in the diaper cover you use. I use prefolds (Greem Mountain Diaper – these are the thickest and best) and I use some fitteds – Cricketts – these are the best fitteds. I only use Thirsties covers or Super Bumis Whisper Wraps – I very rarely have leaks – even with my heaviest wetters. I will sometimes use a doubler at night, but we go all night without having to change a diaper by the time they are about 6 months.
Anyway, let me know if you have any more questions! I’d be glad to help in anyway I can!
April 17th, 2009 at 11:45 am
No, not an advice, but an insight.
When I visited Mongolia, I noticed that the babies in the countryside didn’t have diapers at all. That’s the way it’s always been, I guess. And those mothers sure had they hands full all day with feeding and milking cattle, cooking, washing laundry in the river etc.
So, I guess EC doesn’t have to take a huge amount of time or energy of your day
Never tried, though. We are still praying to have a baby one day.
April 17th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I’m right there with you on the cloth dilemma The reality proved to be too much for me. I kept trying again and stopping. I wish now that I had tried EC, don’t think I knew about it in time. I just don’t see how it could be THAT much harder. Even if it were, avoiding the dreaded potty-training nightmare would have made it SO worth it.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
First of all…Jena is cracking me up! Truly, I am rolling at her comment…love it…though don’t agree, but still love it.
Secondly, I believe you can do it! It’s really not that hard at all.
You said, “If I were weak and helpless, I would sure rather someone helped me to the bathroom instead of just sticking a diaper on me and changing it whenever it fit their schedule. And babies are no less human than adults. Could it be that our whole concept of their not having any preferences in this area is a little misguided?” … I completely agree! This is one of my main reasons for doing it this way now, whether they “potty train” earlier than normal is second in order of importance.
Even if it is just doing it part time, (which is what I do most of the time) it is still worth it. At least now my baby does not stay in a wet diaper if he’s in one as I do not put a water proof cover while we are at home so I can change it immediately.
Lastly, it truly does seem to make you more attentive to the youngest. Which is easy to get distracted with all the older ones and life in general…It has made our time so much sweeter I believe!
I look forward to hearing how it all goes for you!
April 18th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Jenna is so funny…. and so true:-) I am one of your corrupt friends as well, disposable girl. I know, I know, not nearly so frugal and home makerish….but my washer and dryer are not mine, I have to drag loads of clothes to the laundry place across the parking lot, and make sure the whole time that my son is not getting run over by the giant lawn mowers.
If you get EC to work, I will be so proud of your perserverence and time management:-) It is definitely more parent training than child training, and you will know your child really well!
supposedly a child can’t control their bladder until they are about as old as your youngest right now, but I don’t know if that is true or not.
it has been done:-) and if anyone can do it, you can.
April 18th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I think the EC method is used a lot in China. I don’t know if they even use cloth diapers or not. One time in Beijing, while walking the streets, I noticed a 12 month old with his bottom exposed. His outfit covered his entire body except his bottom. When I asked the mother to explain she told me about the EC method and I couldn’t believe it, but it must be really popular there. Give it a shot.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:19 am
It’s true about “open-crotch pants” for babies in China — http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-07/16/content_349150.htm
Every baby, every mother, and every situation is so different — I think EC sounds great if it works, but not worth driving yourself insane if it doesn’t work for you and your latest baby!
April 19th, 2009 at 12:40 am
I just love this!! Especially the comments from Jena! I have to admit I will be no help with EC suggestions. I didn’t even use cloth. The first time I seriously suggested it (I forget now which child it was with), my husband stated, in no uncertain terms, that he felt I was busy enough without the extra laundry. Perhaps he was partially influenced by the small mountain of laundry that seems to never change or move,(it does! on close inspection it changes every day – but you’ll never convince him). At any rate I’d love to hear the outcome. My youngest is well past diaper age, but I’m always looking for good suggestions to pass on to my girls.
And by the way, I can completely understand Mrs. R’s comment. It has become a standing joke around my house that if it’s past 3pm and I jump up quickly and even remotely look as though I’m heading for my bedroom my husband or one of the girls yells “Forgot to go to the bathroom again today didn’t you!” And yes, they’ve even said it when we’ve had company.
April 19th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Dear Mrs P,I’ve never heard of EC but it sounds worth a try. I’m not convinced that just because it’s done in China is such a good thing but your home school friends with miles of kids seem like good judges.I use those microfibre nappies in the day and disposables at night and on Sundays.I can’t bring myself to use disposables all the time,I want to be a good steward of what the Lord has given me , even our beautiful world.I might just go for a walk now and look at Stewart Island, last stop before Antarctica.From Linda.
April 19th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Wow, good for you! I’ve heard a lot about this, but never had the courage to try it myself. It seems really difficult! Would you be willing to write some posts about it, after the baby is born, to keep us updated on how it’s going? Maybe “seeing” you do it will give me the push I need to try it myself (when we have another baby, God willing.)
Oh, and I’ve been meaning to tell you how well things have been going since I started following your advice about the baby crying (do you remember that, from the first emails I ever sent you?) I’m happy to report that bedtimes are no struggle at all anymore and someone is always willing to go and “keep the baby company” when I can’t stay in there with him. Letting the babies “cry it out” had always nagged at me, but I never knew what to do about it – and thanks to you and your advice, he never has to cry it out and I feel SOOO much better about it. So anyway, I just wanted to thank you for that… I meant to tell you about that before now, but kept forgetting.
April 19th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Rina,
I’d be happy to do an update later. This is pretty new for me, so I have no idea how it’s going to go, but I figure it can’t hurt to try it. The worst that could happen is I’ll end up going back to diapers.
I’m so glad to hear that things are going well for you at bedtimes. Praise the Lord!
April 21st, 2009 at 12:16 am
I so enjoyed to reading your blog. Just found it tonight..and will be back to read more. I am new to blogging and would love for you to drop by and meet our little miracle, Jack.
April 21st, 2009 at 9:24 pm
My sister Staci does cloth….but I am not sure what she uses. She loves them, she also has a sqirter type thing on her toilet that helps with the general clean up of the diapers before the pail.
I did notice the split pants in china, and the mothers holding their infants over ditches etc. Often it was the mother communicating to the child that it was time to go.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Women in China are not blogging, that’s why they can do it. Just kidding. I hope it works for someone, so I can say “I know an American who has trained their baby at 6 months..” I used cloth also, back in the day. Thanks for laughing with me. We’ll support you either way, kiddo.
April 30th, 2009 at 11:11 am
I use wool soakers- they NEVER leak! I use the nice pull on ones made by Disana and Lana Care. A great nighttime diaper is Under the nile- we use these on our potty trained two year old just in case she pees at night- if she does wet- it NEVER leaks! I have never had smell problems either- I have a nice wicker hamper that has the large waterproof diaper bag in it- you can sprinkle baking soda in it if you like to kill oders- but I guess you are looking for tips on EC?? Sorry, I have none there!