OK, this one is not to be missed. If you have ever tried to go shopping for something modest to attractively cover the extra pounds gained in giving life to another human being, and wound up dragging yourself wearily from one depressing store to another, wondering who was responsible for stocking their ridiculous racks, then I Went Out to Buy a Skirt will condense all your pain into one hilarious read. Jennifer at Conversion Diary got permission from Simcha Fisher to reprint this, and I’m so glad she did. Here are some favorite quotes:
Well, except for the clean carpet, I might as well be at home. I have managed to find four outfits which are exactly like what I already own, only bigger. And anyway, I can’t wear black to a baptism! People will think I don’t like babies, and why would they think that? I giggle to myself, and my belly jiggles. Okay.
This time, when someone asks if I need help, I confess that I do. “I am looking,” I explain, “for a long skirt.”
The saleslady actually laughs.
She shows me what they do have, which is some kind of apparatus made of streamers and elastic, with tasteful iridescent sequins in the shape of sea horses. And there are also some tops, which were designed to be worn by — well, what did the designer have in mind, exactly? Prostitutes, certainly, but there is also some hint of the world of toddlers. And Elizabethan England, plus gymnastics class.
You can read the rest here.