I think the following passage fits into your discussion:

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. –Ephesians 2:8-10

Carrie’s point is crucial. Works don’t save us. Only God’s grace saves us. But those whom God has saved WILL do good works. L.’s mom’s friends were right, there are people who think they’re saved and aren’t. People who say they believe, but then go and live however they want to should be worried. So should people who work really hard at following a checklist in order to ensure their salvation.

The million dollar question for salvation is: Does God know me? In other words, am I His new creation, completely changed, becoming more like Christ from the inside out every day?

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. –Matthew 7:21-23

But I also knew some Christian women in my mothers’ group who did NOT believe that simply believing in Jesus was enough to be saved. Even adhering to His Word wasn’t always enough to guarantee salvation, under the “many-are-called-but-few-are-chosen” point of view. They said (and I quote from imperfect memory here): “We are NOT saved by our faith, or living by His Word. We are saved only by His Mercy, and many who believe themselves saved will not be.” They believed in a God of wrath more than a God of love — but that’s just my (perhaps warped) interpretation of it.

L, I just want to make sure you’re not misunderstanding anything. We have eternal salvation because Jesus died for our sins on the cross. He lived the life we are supposed to live and died the death we are supposed to die. If we just believe that He is the Son of God, then we are saved. We can see His blessings anytime but especially when we adhere to His Word.

If a woman decides not to be subordinate to her husband, she does not lose her salvation. She may not see all of the blessings a marriage can be, like this scripture from Ephesians 5:24-26: \Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.\
Now submit can be interpreted. I think we women can be controlling and sometimes a little naggy. I think we(definitely myself) need to let that control go. But Husbands are called to truly love and be kind to their wives. If husbands and wives follow this verse, I think they will have a truly blessed marriage.
God Bless!

Many Blessings
Ace

Absolutely! Thanks for bringing that balance in. In fact, that’s very similar to what I was arguing in Why Modern Motherhood is So Much Harder than it Ought to Be.

One thing I would like to comment on is the implicit suggestion here that it’s the wife’s job to “raise the children” while the husband brings home the bacon. I’m pretty sure you believe that parenthood is a shared thing, but I think sometimes Christian women fall into the mindset that men are somewhere between officers of the peace and sperm donors. But, as I’m sure you’d agree, the fathering role is irreplaceable! Let’s never fall into the thinking (or teaching our daughters) that raising children is only a WOMANLY occupation.

It’s my belief that a happy, peaceful home life requires identifying and splitting responsibilities, yet always putting the FAMILY above your official list of duties. If needs arise, my husband cheerfully washes the dishes. Labeling it a “woman’s job” would be counterproductive. Washing dishes doesn’t make my husband “feminine”—it makes him the committed, loving partner I thank God for every day!