I talk a lot about men and their lust problems on this blog, but we women can be just as guilty. Here’s a great post by the Botkin sisters of Visionary Daughters about Twilight specifically, and romance novels in general, and why they can be such a bad thing for women. Here are a couple of favorite quotes:
For this discussion, we would like to set aside the dark paranormal element of Twilight, though that is a concern on its own. We believe what ultimately draws women into this series and other romance novels in millions-strong droves is the same thing that lures men into an estimated $3-4 billion-a-year pornography industry.
Journalist Alisa Harris explains: “It’s called emotional porn. When men glut their physical lust with pictures of airbrushed girls pumped full of silicone, they become dissatisfied with real women’s bodies. When women plug their emotional caverns with chick flicks and chick lit, they become dissatisfied with the real men they know because they can’t measure up to the guys from The Notebook or Pride and Prejudice or Walk to Remember.” (Alisa Harris, “Beating Darcy Down”, Kritik Magazine)
Pornography is not simply about pictures. At its core, pornography starts with:
1. A desire to use people as self-gratification machines
2. A preference for man-made reality and man-made people over the real thing.These hold as much temptation for women as for men, though romance novels often feed their fire better than pictures. (It has been found, however, that pictures of Robert Pattinson don’t put a damper on anything.) [4]
R.J. Rushdoony asks, “Why should an unreal female be exciting, and a far better and real woman not be so? The key is the essence of imagination: the fantasy woman is totally the creation and creature of man, whereas the real woman is God’s creation and creature. It is essential to imagination to create a man-made world and a man-ordained decree of predestination. It is the essence of sin to demand such a world.” [5]
Why should Edward, Mr. Darcy and other romantic heroes be more interesting than “far better and real” men? Because these men are the creations of women, tailor-made just the way we want them… rather than the way God made them.
Though some may profess immunity to teen-vampire-horror-romance, everyone tainted by sin faces this temptation to escape to another world. A different “reality,” where what is impossible in real life is possible in our minds – where we can indulge in desires we would never fulfill in the real world. It’s about more than going batty for vampires. It’s about a chance to take a “time off” from law and consequences.
R.J. Rushdoony points out, “Because ours is an age with a will to fiction, the role of imagination is extremely important. Men who will not be governed by God’s word will not be governed by reality, because reality is not of their making. God having created all things, reality reflects the mind of God, not man. Hence, it is the essence of sin to resort to imagination to escape God’s law world.”[8]
We who feel “the urge to escape sometimes” should ask ourselves why a world apart from God’s character, God’s laws, and God’s created order would be a world a Christian would desire to live in? [9] What would make us want to run, like Jonah, from God and His presence? “Escapism is only medicine to one who views the reality of God and His creation as a disease.” [10] The answer for those in need of “escape” from life’s hardships is running to God – not away from Him.
You can read the rest here.
Editor’s Note: Several commenters seem to have mistaken the above quotations as having been written by me. They are quotations from a blog post written by the Botkins. They are not written by me.
December 14th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Excellent! Thanks for sharing. I am glad for some validation for my earlier post here:
http://joyeverafter.blogspot.com/2009/01/marriage-post-novel-idea.html
Again, thanks! We need to hear this.
December 14th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
While I am genuinely relieved that my daughter has shown no interest in the drivel of “Twilight,” I wonder whether by the description above, reading ANY fiction novel would fit this definition of “escapism?”
December 15th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Great article. I’ve thought this for YEARS. And the “Christian” romance fiction isn’t any better…
December 15th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
this was a very good topic. for years, even before I became a Christian, I read regency romance novels, because I am a history buff, and I TRULY skipped over the “love” scenes. I was interested, and still am, in the background scenes. of course, as is the case with Pride and Prejudice, which I have also read, there were not the “love” scenes like you find in today’s romance novels. but there again, I enjoyed it on a basis of history, not the romance between the characters.
even to this day, I read romance novels, regency period or Scottish because I also love Scottish history, and continue to skip–frequently SEVERAL pages at a time!–the “love” scenes.
I realize, of course, that there are many women who DO read the love scenes in all these books, and get wrapped up in the characters, and this is wrong.
December 15th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Thank you for addressing this issue! So true!
December 15th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I’m actually more inclined to agree with the views of a middle-school teacher friend, on the Twilight series particularly: That it’s a hopeful sign that the series is so very popular among (mainstream) teenage girls right now. Because when you weed through all the vampire/paranormal trappings, what you find is essentially that teenage girls still want, at heart, a guy who respects them enough to remain hands-off in a relationship, rather than gratifying his physical desires at her expense.
I do understand your point about romance novels in general, I just think there’s a more positive way to see that one, in particular.
December 15th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
I’m in highschool, and have read all the books, though I skimmed the last one because I couldn’t handle the bad writing any more. I understand and appreciate your point about escapism, but I would also like to point out that, for me, Edward was way too unreal to even be interesting. I mean, why fantasize over someone who, unlike Mr. Darcy, isn’t human, or who, unlike Harry Potter, doesn’t have all the problems that the rest of us face?
December 16th, 2009 at 1:11 am
Thank you for sharing this article. Definitely very thought-provoking. I had never thought about romance novels quite in that light before…
December 16th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Umm to Cord, I want to say that in the twilight novels the lead character is not such a “hands off girl” infact throughout most of the book she tries to seduce her bf, that is not a really good example set for girls.
In my church the young single sisters are really obsessed I really wish they could read the article, these girls have even downloaded a pirated version of the recent film as our church doesnt agree with going to cinemas.
The actors provide a visual stimulant, everywhere you go online are features of the actors shirtless and creating lust on top of unrealistic ideas of men, these girls already are suffering from.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:43 am
I’m going to read that post now. Excellent topic. Thanks for covering it.
December 17th, 2009 at 7:53 am
L.,
It is possible that other kinds of fiction could be a problem for some people as well. Any time we’re wrapping ourselves up in something that’s not real, we need to evaluate it.
December 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Mrs. Tumbas: To be fair, I have not actually read the books, so I am taking others’ words for it. The obessive fan following is off-putting, but I prefer to see some bright side in it: that maybe men with self-control are what girls (even totally secular girls) these days really want.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:56 am
Nice post. I’ve never liked the romance novels. Appreciate your thoughts.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I like the point about romance novels/female emotional adultery….I’m not sure I agree with you that “wrapping ourselves in anything not real” is bad. I think imagination, escapism, fiction and pretend is a-okay, myself.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
I found this to be a very thought-provoking post. Great thoughts on emotional lust as connected with romance novels. I’ve always loved fiction, and have read some love stories (not the trashy kind) but I prefer historical fiction/adventure. Although a love story may temporarily draw me in, I find the genre irritating for just the reasons you mentioned (although I could never put a name on it before). They tend to make women dissatisfied with the real men in their lives. As far as temporarily escaping reality through imagination (i.e. fiction) I’m not convinced that is necessarily a bad thing. Too much of it can be, certainly, but God was the one who gave us our imaginations and surely He had some good uses for them. Jesus Himself taught using parables (fiction with a point) that could have been quite emotionally involving… the Prodigal Son, the Good Samaritan… so maybe the criteria for good fiction is whether it is wholesome, serves a useful purpose (such as history education, inspiration, etc.) and whether one’s taste for fiction is engaged in with self-discipline, like all other recreation (this is an area I struggle with!). However, to say that losing oneself in imagination is a bad thing could lead to illogical extremes… such as discouraging our children from playing imagination games… not at all sure that you intended to take your remarks to that level, but just a thought. Nonetheless, your thoughts on emotional lust are PROFOUND and I’m so glad to have a way to express my frustration with romance novels!!
December 18th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
Judging from several comments, I’m getting the impression that some people didn’t realize that I did not write the majority of this post. I was sharing favorite quotes from a post on the blog, Visionary Daughters.
Several of you have taken issue with the idea of escapism being necessarily a bad thing. It’s important to note the Eliza Botkin was talking about a specific form of escapism, as she put it:
The problem comes when the thing we are trying to escape is God’s order and God’s rules and the place we are escaping to is one where sin is justified. I think this particular brand of escapism is very common with romance novels. Women are lonely and feel unfulfilled either because they are not in a romantic relationship or because they are married to a real man who doesn’t always anticipate their every desire, so they want to escape into a world where they can feel all the tingly, swoony feelings that they aren’t getting in real life. The result is that they wind up having sexual feelings generated by imaginary men rather than by their real husband (not all that different from men looking at porn).
I agree with those of you who said that there is room for imagination in a Christian’s life. I was not intending to say that EVERY time we “wrap ourselves in something that is not real” it is a bad thing, only that it needs to be evaluated. I think we should use the same criteria for evaluating our fantasies as we would use for evaluating behaviors in real life. If it would be wrong for me to actually do something, then I shouldn’t imagine myself doing it. So, in the case of romance novels, if it would be wrong for me to have sexual feelings about a man other than my husband in the real world, then it would be wrong for me to have sexual feelings about a man in my mind.
December 20th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Thank you for clarifying… well put. And thank you again for sharing this.
December 20th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Dear Mrs P,Jane Austen never found her Darcy she died unmarried at 41, much like the Bronte sisters. They are the epitome of romantic fiction but their lives were husbandless-interesting isn’t it. Enid Blyton had a very strange childhood and she wrote imaginative, adventurous childhood fiction.Unfortunately too many people want fiction to be a reality- look at the soap opera shows, as christians we have to discern the difference between a far-fetched dream and what could be a wonderful reality with some warts and all. From Linda