Comments on: Women and Romance Novels: It’s Our Turn to Be Convicted, Ladies.

By: linda

linda — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 23:22:30 +0000

Dear Mrs P,Jane Austen never found her Darcy she died unmarried at 41, much like the Bronte sisters. They are the epitome of romantic fiction but their lives were husbandless-interesting isn’t it. Enid Blyton had a very strange childhood and she wrote imaginative, adventurous childhood fiction.Unfortunately too many people want fiction to be a reality- look at the soap opera shows, as christians we have to discern the difference between a far-fetched dream and what could be a wonderful reality with some warts and all. From Linda

By: Aireachail

Aireachail — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 06:07:33 +0000

Thank you for clarifying… well put. And thank you again for sharing this.

By: Mrs. Parunak

Mrs. Parunak — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 03:49:18 +0000

Judging from several comments, I'm getting the impression that some people didn't realize that I did not write the majority of this post. I was sharing favorite quotes from a post on the blog, Visionary Daughters. Several of you have taken issue with the idea of escapism being necessarily a bad thing. It's important to note the Eliza Botkin was talking about a specific form of escapism, as she put it:

A different “reality,” where what is impossible in real life is possible in our minds – where we can indulge in desires we would never fulfill in the real world.

The problem comes when the thing we are trying to escape is God's order and God's rules and the place we are escaping to is one where sin is justified. I think this particular brand of escapism is very common with romance novels. Women are lonely and feel unfulfilled either because they are not in a romantic relationship or because they are married to a real man who doesn't always anticipate their every desire, so they want to escape into a world where they can feel all the tingly, swoony feelings that they aren't getting in real life. The result is that they wind up having sexual feelings generated by imaginary men rather than by their real husband (not all that different from men looking at porn). I agree with those of you who said that there is room for imagination in a Christian's life. I was not intending to say that EVERY time we "wrap ourselves in something that is not real" it is a bad thing, only that it needs to be evaluated. I think we should use the same criteria for evaluating our fantasies as we would use for evaluating behaviors in real life. If it would be wrong for me to actually do something, then I shouldn't imagine myself doing it. So, in the case of romance novels, if it would be wrong for me to have sexual feelings about a man other than my husband in the real world, then it would be wrong for me to have sexual feelings about a man in my mind.

By: Aireachail

Aireachail — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 02:28:28 +0000

I found this to be a very thought-provoking post. Great thoughts on emotional lust as connected with romance novels. I’ve always loved fiction, and have read some love stories (not the trashy kind) but I prefer historical fiction/adventure. Although a love story may temporarily draw me in, I find the genre irritating for just the reasons you mentioned (although I could never put a name on it before). They tend to make women dissatisfied with the real men in their lives. As far as temporarily escaping reality through imagination (i.e. fiction) I’m not convinced that is necessarily a bad thing. Too much of it can be, certainly, but God was the one who gave us our imaginations and surely He had some good uses for them. Jesus Himself taught using parables (fiction with a point) that could have been quite emotionally involving… the Prodigal Son, the Good Samaritan… so maybe the criteria for good fiction is whether it is wholesome, serves a useful purpose (such as history education, inspiration, etc.) and whether one’s taste for fiction is engaged in with self-discipline, like all other recreation (this is an area I struggle with!). However, to say that losing oneself in imagination is a bad thing could lead to illogical extremes… such as discouraging our children from playing imagination games… not at all sure that you intended to take your remarks to that level, but just a thought. Nonetheless, your thoughts on emotional lust are PROFOUND and I’m so glad to have a way to express my frustration with romance novels!!

By: b-head

b-head — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:23:09 +0000

I like the point about romance novels/female emotional adultery….I’m not sure I agree with you that “wrapping ourselves in anything not real” is bad. I think imagination, escapism, fiction and pretend is a-okay, myself.

By: Organizing MOmmy

Organizing MOmmy — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:56:14 +0000

Nice post. I’ve never liked the romance novels. Appreciate your thoughts.

By: Cord

Cord — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:05:18 +0000

Mrs. Tumbas: To be fair, I have not actually read the books, so I am taking others’ words for it. The obessive fan following is off-putting, but I prefer to see some bright side in it: that maybe men with self-control are what girls (even totally secular girls) these days really want.

By: Mrs. Parunak

Mrs. Parunak — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 11:53:03 +0000

L.,

It is possible that other kinds of fiction could be a problem for some people as well. Any time we’re wrapping ourselves up in something that’s not real, we need to evaluate it.

By: Mrs. Anna T

Mrs. Anna T — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 08:43:20 +0000

I’m going to read that post now. Excellent topic. Thanks for covering it.

By: Mrs Tumbas

Mrs Tumbas — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 22:53:13 +0000

Umm to Cord, I want to say that in the twilight novels the lead character is not such a “hands off girl” infact throughout most of the book she tries to seduce her bf, that is not a really good example set for girls.

In my church the young single sisters are really obsessed I really wish they could read the article, these girls have even downloaded a pirated version of the recent film as our church doesnt agree with going to cinemas.

The actors provide a visual stimulant, everywhere you go online are features of the actors shirtless and creating lust on top of unrealistic ideas of men, these girls already are suffering from.