Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin….Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. –Romans 6:6,7,12
Free. It’s so familiar, a gospel fundamental. The Lord saves us and sets us free from sin. We don’t have to obey our former master anymore.
This morning, cuddled up with my nursing baby, and prepping for a Bible study, I came across those words again, “freed from sin.” I don’t have to serve sin. But I could. I could still obey sin, otherwise there wouldn’t be any words of warning against letting it reign in my mortal body. But in order to obey, there has to be a command. And that made me wonder, what does the command sound like? How do I hear my former master’s voice?
I hear it in my flesh, my “mortal body,” “in the lusts thereof.” It is the overwhelming feeling that I must do something wrong. The anger welling up within me when I do not get my way, the jealousy that taunts me when I see what others have that my flesh desperately wants, the selfishness, dissatisfaction, the compelling frustration, the feeling that I just “can’t help” being closed in on myself and joyless, the sin, like instinct; these things that seem to come from within me, that whisper that this is who I am, inescapably, without hope of control, that tell me I can’t, I can’t say no, I must feel this, and maybe scream, or yell, or make someone else feel as bad as I do–they are the commands, they are the sound of my former master’s voice. Authoritative. Powerful. To hear is to obey.
But I am free.
This is nothing more than shouting in the street. I do not have to listen. I can simply walk away.
I used to be so bothered by these attempts at returning me to slavery. I was torn, squirming, guilty that I was feeling this or that, and yet feeling such compulsion to wallow in it and act on it. “I’m having a hard day.” “I’m sorry I said that, but you just made me SO MAD.” “I can’t help that. I’ve always felt like that, ever since I was a little girl.” “If you just knew what this person or that person did to me, then you’d understand why I have to be this way.” But lying there with my Bible study, I realized that what freedom means is that I actually can just turn away. I don’t have to be upset about all these feelings and compulsions anymore. My flesh can shout all it wants. I do not have to obey.
Obviously, there is no hope of rejecting my former master’s commands if I am not clinging to my new Master, the Lord Jesus Christ, who set me free to serve Him. It is only through His power that I have any hope of escaping. But through His power, I can reject even the sin of my own flesh, the voice of my former master.
I am free.
Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin….If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. –John 8:34,36
I just heard about another rape. It sounded like a typical “date” rape, perhaps, a report of scorn and bravado. It made me feel angry, and sad, and helpless. Another case of the weaker sex being trampled by the stronger. For all the liberation of the past century, the world is still a dangerous place to be a woman. We are consumables.
A quick look at stats can be staggering. Every two minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. One in six women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Only six per cent of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. It’s horrifying.
But we are not truly helpless. Each one of us has the potential to change the tiny segment of society that we are in contact with every day. We are the salt of the earth, each of us is a grain of salt on rotting flesh, slowing the decay, spreading truth, and preserving life in the face of death. So what is the truth that preserves life in this case? What is the antithesis of a rape philosophy?
Some would say that the fundamental issue is equality. We need to encourage more respect of women’s fundamental equal value. If men didn’t see women as lesser beings, then they wouldn’t treat them as consumables. And certainly, respect for equal value is a part of the necessary attitude, but it can’t be the whole story. College campuses are some of the most egalitarian, almost artificially respectful environments, and yet one in four women will be sexually assaulted on a college campus. Respecting a woman as a microbiologist or creative writer seems to have little effect on whether a man feel free to use her body for his own entertainment.
Now someone’s going to argue that those college guys who rape their classmates at frat parties don’t really respect the equality of women. I’d wager that the majority of frat boy rapists are thoroughly in favor of “equality.” Women should be treated just like men in voting, academics, the job market, and in the every person for him or herself world of sexual fulfillment where “I want what I want and I assume you do, too.” And “I want your body, so I’m going to take it. Why should I stop just because you said, no? Why is what you want more important than what I want? We’re equals. Let’s have a tousle for it. If you win, maybe you can run away, but if I win…” Which, by the way, is exactly the way men treat each other. Men “rape” other men all the time. It just isn’t always physical.
The most crucial attitude is not merely one of respecting equality, but of actively cherishing women. A man with an anti-rape philosophy protects women rather than abusing them, or even just leaving them to fend for themselves. It’s not that he thinks of a woman as his equal but that he recognizes the places where she isn’t and takes it as a sacred responsibility to man up and defend her, sacrificially if he has to. The average man is capable of physically overpowering the average woman. If he does not cherish her, if he views his own desires as the highest value in the universe, then all he needs is opportunity, and another statistic goes down on the rape pages.
Cherishing starts when a man understands that women do not exist for his enjoyment, that their beauty is not an advertisement for a free buffet, that he has no right to any woman’s body, and that women deserve to be valued, protected, and defended, not just because they’re smart, or gifted, or in any other way worthy of respect, but because they are a weaker vessel, meant to be honored like fine china is meant for hand washing and careful stacking, not rough chucking over the backseat of the car like a fry box after a hasty meal. Cherishing means a man is guarding his daughters and watching out for his sisters. It means he’s checking up on what men they’re with and what their intentions are. It means he’s giving other men the message that he will not leave women alone in the world. It means taking away opportunities from men who are looking for them. 1 Peter 3:7 is addressed to husbands, but I think it gives a fair assessment of how God views women and the way He wants them to be cared for.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. –1 Peter 3:7
Instilling this attitude in our sons is a tiny positive step we can take towards making sure that our daughters live in a safer world.