Dear Friends, I’m working diligently on my birth story, but sometimes it’s slow going when I’m typing one handed and oh so distracted by a pair of dark gray eyes searching mine. So as I wait to regain my equilibrium enough to get some of my own posts up, I wanted to share a few of the wonderful things I’ve been reading while snuggling and nursing.

Mrs. Anna T. has written another gem, Fix Your Eyes on the Lovely Things. It’s an uplifting and spot on reminder to keep our minds on the right things.

Here is a GREAT post, written anonymously by a wife dealing with her husband’s pornography problem. I want to be careful in posting it, lest this woman’s personal story of coming to grips with her own sin make anyone think that all men’s pornography problems stem from these particular issues. Pornography addiction is so rampant, and the complicating factors are as individual as each struggling couple. However, the answer, the way of the cross, is much more universally applicable. Even if your husband has never had difficulty in this area, chances are you will one day encounter a woman whose husband does, and this gives solid Scriptural advice in testimony form on what to say and what NOT to say. I highly recommend The Pornography Net.

Meghann Jones has written a delightful post encouraging us to enjoy our husbands and leave convicting them to the Holy Spirit. Enjoying My Man.

This is also a great time to introduce you to something that I’ve really been enjoying, but since I don’t usually do memes, I haven’t had a good chance to share it. Organizing Mommy has a wonderful concept called the Blitz that has been a huge blessing at our house since she introduced it several months ago. Here’s her latest post about it, Blitzing with the Kids. You may also want to check out the first post, The ONE HOUR BLITZ.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. –Philippians 4:8

I wanted to quickly check in and let everyone know that our new little daughter was born at home Sunday night at 8:59 (six days early, grin). She weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces, and was just under 21 inches long. I hope to post her birth story soon. (Well, “soon” by postpartum standards may not be exactly “soon,” but I’ll do my best.)

A birth report just came out that has conservatives concerned. According to the One News Now coverage of the report, 40% of all births in the U.S. in 2007 were to unwed mothers. Obviously, this is a bad thing. But what struck me was what Janice Crouse of Concerned Women For America was quoted as saying about it. After detailing the poverty and behavior problems that were statistically more likely to afflict these children, she lamented,

There’s no stigma attached to having a child [out of wedlock] and there’s no price to pay, no consequence…in terms of your acceptance within society. Some schools even have special classes now for girls who get pregnant while they’re still in school.

The report went on to say,

Crouse believes the survey is also a wakeup call to parents who have children enrolled in public school that comprehensive sex education is not working. She argues that schools are focusing too much on the act of sex and not enough on the ramifications of unwed pregnancies.

Now I usually like Concerned Women for America, but I have a problem with this. There is nothing immoral about having a baby out of wedlock. What is immoral is having sex out of wedlock. The reason that unwed pregnancy used to be stigmatized was that being pregnant implied you’d been having sex. Shifting the focus from the sex to the baby, in my mind, does one thing. It encourages abortion.

If we spend lots of time telling students about “the ramifications of unwed pregnancies,” we’re not going to discourage them from having sex. We’re going to make them believe that a baby will ruin their life. Sex and babies hardly go together anymore. Sex is for fun. And babies…well, there’s a pill for that. So when their birth control fails (and teens are notorious for not using it properly), a quick trip down to the local Planned Parenthood office will fix everything up, neat and tidy. There! No out of wedlock birth. Never mind the dismembered child, and the emotionally scarred woman who may face serious depression and even increased risk of breast cancer thanks to the solution to her dire “problem” of having a baby.

Yes, it is God’s design for children to grow up with two parents. And we should grieve for children who don’t have that chance and seek to help and defend the fatherless, whether they are the children of unwed mothers or the children of widows. But just as we don’t blame the children of widows for ruining their mothers’ lives (even if their mothers are struggling and impoverished), we shouldn’t blame the children of women who stumbled sexually for ruining their mothers’ lives. What devastated the widow was a death. What devastated the unwed mother was giving herself sexually to a man who had not covenanted to care for her and the baby they produced.

Let’s tell people the truth. A human being is infinitely valuable even if he is at risk for poverty or behavior problems. Babies don’t mess up your life. (They do drastically alter your plans, but they also bring with them incredible blessings. And since when were one person’s plans more important than another person’s life anyway?). But having sex with someone you’re not married to does mess up your life. Sex is not harmless fun. It binds you forever to another person. And not saving sex for marriage causes much more spiritual and emotional devastation than any baby ever will.